Lily looks like my Momma
My mom and Lily last pics together
Thank you for being patient I hope that you all still come to see if I have made a post though it has almost been a month now. I will just let it all out, honestly I have been having a hard time getting back into posting since someone I love so dearly is not going to read or see pictures of my little girl, but I realize that you all are still here and deserve to. Ironically my mother's name in all of her comments is livenletdi and I realize I need to live.
I plan on making a book out of this blog at the end of the year, so it is important to me to write about this, though some may find it too personal.
My personal remarks at the graveside service:
I have held off on deciding what to say today. Most likely because I don't want to say good bye (I need my mom).
The only person that would put me first before others and sometimes herself. I never felt like I was an inconvience, and I never felt insignificant in her eyes. Yet I know she loved us all equally.
Sometimes it hurts too bad to think of what I will now be missing in my life, but I try to remember all of our cherished times together.
Lately as I walk with Lily and wish so badly she was here, I realize she is... I can think of her and try to be the mother that also walked along with me holding my hand,
I can be the mother that makes homeade chicken noodle soup when you feel sick or your favorite meal for your birthdays. The mom that is skilled with taking care of boo boos, and picks you up when you fall. The mom that can help write detailed papers for school, and make good tardy notes and excuses to go have a day of fun together. A mom that is silly... who sings songs, speaks random German, and calls corn... (lorn on the lobby).
A mom to cry the most on, and knows just what to say when you are overwhelmed or frustrated. A mom that can make mistakes but lives and learns through them to teach you to be better. A mom that you can find trust in, to care for your own child, who will spoil and love her as well as you do. And a mom that is so so so much more.
I know today I have to let go of our time together tomorrow, but I will never have to say good bye. She will be with me forever, I am a part of her as much as she is a part of me.
I can love her always, and strive to be like the wonderful, divine, mother, and friend she was for all of us.
Thank you all for the love you have shown for our family.
On a lighter note her is Lily's first bikini experience....
Chipping face
Dillier face
8 comments:
I appreciate you posting more than you could ever know.
I love you, my sweet Fer Fer.
Say "hi" to Lily and Nate!
Hi honey I have been meaning to eamil you. I really just couldnt find the words. Everything I wanted to say to you just seemed so insignificant. Those were such beautiful words you spoke about your Mommy. And I absolutely love the pictures of her and Lily. The one at the top with all 3 of you is my fave. That is a moment captured that you AND Lily can cherrish forever. I love you so much. I miss you and the friendship that we have always shared. I am thinking of you constantly. Please let me know if you neeed anything.
You did a great job for your mom. I know she was so proud of all of you. We love you and are thinking of you and the family.
Jenni, I hope that you are really doing ok. I really admire your strength to let your mom live on and keep on living your own life. Let me know if you need anything and know that we are thinking of you.
im really sorry and I love you bunches.. xoxoxoox We just had a death on adams side and he came home on monday till yesterday.... I know what it feels like to lose your mom and although mine is still alive it feels like she is gone.. i know you know what i mean.. hang in there.. i love you... xooxooxxoxo
hey! what's with the chipping vs dillier faces?? sometimes we smile, don't we?? (jk)
jen, thanks for posting what you said at the service. your mom was always so cheerful and so obviously in total love with all of you guys (and your cute kids). i know you will always have the empty hole waiting for her to fill it again, but she will. thanks for talking to me. i love listening to you. i hope you will keep calling! you already are a super little mommy!!
tons of love, mom (another one)
Jenni I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't even imagine what your going through. At least you have a great family to love and support you.
The next time you come to SLC you should give me a call and we could get together for a playdate or something.
oh my, i didnt even know this happened and im so sorry to read about it now. by your strength when i see you, i would have never known and i want you to know that we're not too far from you if i can ever help in any way please let me know. thank you for sharing your beautiful post. im really looking forward to getting to know you and the family. take care!
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